Four days in to National Novel
Writing Month and I still cannot believe I signed up for this. You guys probably don’t remember the last time I posted here (January) and my “excuse” is lack of time.
Really? Yes. Really? Ok, fine! It’s lack of time management. See, I break easily and I cannot be tortured. If I am so in flux and busy and undisciplined with blogging, why would I volunteer for a month long writing challenge?
I’m an insane egotistical, neurotic, sycophant with a competitive streak. Yup. I said it. I’m a writer.
The last time I did NaNo (2010), my life was totally different. I was an online college student with hours of free time at my disposal. Now I work 55 hours a week, run a small business, and it is football season. Signing up was not a calculated move. I keep mulling over reasons why I joined this year but the truth is, it doesn’t matter. I needed to write.
So yes. It’s day four and I’m going to win. If you’re doing NaNo, let’s buddy up (User Name: maxiesteer) online and get this done. I’ve pulled Author Karina Espinosa into the madness, so it’s good to have a few friends along for the ride.
What was your reason for doing NaNoWriMo? Comment below with your motivations!
Fear is a strong motivator, not the best one, but one that works. It connotes a propellant from behind, an evil to avoid. On the other hand success is an aim, a catalyst for forward movement. At the intersection of fear and success is a stalemate – an unnamed source for procrastination. I think this is where I have arrived.
It could be that I’ve negotiated myself out of the regular excuses for ignoring my passion, but I am recognizing this as an avoidance tactic. The thought that my ego, narcissism, and laziness will show up once I have “arrived” makes me not even attempt the journey. Usually, I do not think it is helpful to write about identifying a problem without presenting solutions, but I’m stumped. I’ve seen it happened to me, to other people, and I am afraid to lose myself. Talk about first world problems! I haven’t written here in months, but I’ve been inspired and
helpful to other writers. That fuel should build steam and extinguish this phobia. Here’s to embracing the future, the inevitable stumbles and progress.
Do you come across this phenomenon? How do you deal with it?