Day 3: The Meltdown

Today was the worst. I am speaking literally when I say there was blood, sweat, and tears. I barely want to write this because I am so upset with myself right now. Read on if you must.

  1. Wordcount/Time Investment – 1074 in 3 hours. That is pathetic. It should say 2454 because I wrote 1380 (and bragged about it on Facebook) during the 10pm word war I mentioned yesterday. I was speeding away on Write or Die and when it came time to copy/paste, I pressed something other than [ctrl] and BOOM! The world imploded and my spirit broke. My words were gone and I was left with a ‘c’ instead of my Chapter 3. My blood pressure went up and I got a nosebleed, I cried and threw myself on the floor. My brother came in to soothe me and it helped…but then I relayed the episode to my boyfriend and reliving it made my body run hot because I got angry with myself. 
  2. Discoveries – I do not handle defeat/setbacks well. I will not be using Write or Die anymore.  
  3. Sacrifices – Blood, sweat, and tears. And maybe some dignity.
November PAD (Poem a Day) Chapbook Challenge
  1. Poem Writing Set – After I calmed down, I knew I was still behind, way behind. I was 593 words short of my daily total, I had no poem for Day 3, and I hadn’t written this entry yet. The poem would be the best diversion. I grabbed my notebook and started, while my boyfriend was still keeping my company on video chat. It reads like a limerick but I think it has soul. Still a first draft, but I think it will do. Late poeming secured my sanity.
  2. Discoveries –  Poetry will always do more for me than I will ever do for the art.
  3. Sacrifices – By this time, sniffles.
This was me an hour ago:
My sit-up-and-act-like-an-adult call came in an email from a friend thanking me for my help in proofreading his manuscript. I’m indebted to you too, Jim.

6 thoughts on “Day 3: The Meltdown

  1. Aw that is really shitty! Good on you for getting back up and continuing on.

    All the best! You can do it! Losing stuff always sucks, but when you re-write it, maybe it'll be even better than last time!

  2. Ahh yes – cyberspace and beyond! And you'd think I'd learn from the first two times. Naaa! And I cried and cried, and then someone told me if I sold my soul to the devil it could be pulled back in. Naaa! Didn't want to chance it. I lost it but for a glimmer in my mind's eye. DSFernandez

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